Team.

Hey.

"Why weren't you there?"

My whole team went to USA High Performance Tryouts for volleyball, except me and someone recently recovering from an injury. Does that put me in the outsider category? Am I not as good as them, not as dedicated to this sport?

Doubts begin to swirl in my mind, but then the slightly more calm and rational voice in my head tells me I have other priorities. I have to visit colleges this summer (according to my parents) and stick to my plan, my goals, what I should be doing in life.

I am reminded, sports are only a form of recreation, not a way to get into a school for higher education. I know. I know. I know.

But sometimes I wish I were out there on the court. I love volleyball. That's why I play.

Sometimes it threatens to take over my life, sometimes it means I can't do something else.

I gladly am skipping Winter Ball for a tournament in LA, I'm willing to give up my weekends for practice.

But sometimes, I don't feel like I'm a part of anything. Not completely devoted to sports, yet not able to fit into the academic discussions and go to every study session for clubs.

Where to go?

San Mateo tournament tomorrow. (: That's where I'll be at. With my team playing volleyball.